#1 2013-06-03 06:40:55

Disco3
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Registered: 2011-08-08
Posts: 476
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Fast 6 Review (spoilers)

It Sucked balls.


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#2 2013-06-03 07:20:36

Fragdieb2
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Re: Fast 6 Review (spoilers)

I am so not surprised.


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#3 2013-06-03 12:25:04

2na
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Registered: 2003-02-18
Posts: 14

Re: Fast 6 Review (spoilers)


I hope you like me and I fit in with your life.

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#4 2013-06-03 14:20:29

Maindrian
Second Place Gaymo
Registered: 2003-02-18
Posts: 3,064

Re: Fast 6 Review (spoilers)

Seriously, these movies are the gayest*. Fast Five was probably one of the best action movies I've seen in the last ten years, but crikey, the unironic gayness floods out of that thing. The only way 6 could possibly top it is if it had a scene where The Rock, Vin and Paul Walker all stood in a sweaty circle and touched dicks.

6 will probably end up as a DVD buy on the cheap at some point. I don't think it'll be anywhere near as good as FF, but then, HOW COULD IT BE?

(*These opinions take into account that Tango and Cash is the gay action movie singularity and no movie before or after can possibly be gayer. To say "These movies are the gayest", the qualifier "But not as gay as Tango and Cash**" should be unspoken.)

(**Other movies not as gay as Tango and Cash: Brokeback Mountain, Priscilla; Queen of the Desert, My Own Private Idaho, My Beautiful Laundrette, Milk, anything by directed by Baz Luhrmann, that new Soderberg film about Liberace that I actually quite fancy seeing.)

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#5 2013-06-03 14:29:31

Disco3
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Re: Fast 6 Review (spoilers)

Maindrian wrote:

The only way 6 could possibly top it is if it had a scene where The Rock, Vin and Paul Walker all stood in a sweaty circle and touched dicks.

BTW, this actually happened.

Maindrian wrote:

6 will probably end up as a DVD buy on the cheap at some point.

It's not even worth that.

I wouldn't mind all of the homosexuality or the Rock and his neck's neck, but the thing is, they aren't even trying to make a bad movie about stupid cars anymore. It's an action movie that happens to have a brief shot of some M5's and a Superbird in it.

I liked it because of the cheesy street racing.

ALSO WHAT THE GODDAMNED FUCK IS UP WITH DOM'S CHARACTER LEANING SO HEAVILY ON DOMESTIC MUSCLE?! HE DROVE THE GAYEST FUCKING RICE BURNER EVER MADE IN THE FIRST MOVIE.


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#6 2013-06-03 14:31:29

Maindrian
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Registered: 2003-02-18
Posts: 3,064

Re: Fast 6 Review (spoilers)

What actually was your opinion on Fast Five, John? Was this one a let down, or did you not like that one either?

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#7 2013-06-03 14:35:07

Disco3
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Registered: 2011-08-08
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Re: Fast 6 Review (spoilers)

Maindrian wrote:

What actually was your opinion on Fast Five, John? Was this one a let down, or did you not like that one either?

I thought Fast Four was really interesting and I had a great time at Fast Five in theaters.

TBH, though, Four was probably the pinnacle of my F&F experience, with one holding the top spot for nostalgia's sake. I didn't like Five as much because, again, they started to stop even caring about the shitty car movie aspect (the whole appeal for me), but it was well done.

This was just stupid, utter shit. They didn't even try at the action (google 'Fast Six runway').


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#8 2013-06-03 14:50:57

Maindrian
Second Place Gaymo
Registered: 2003-02-18
Posts: 3,064

Re: Fast 6 Review (spoilers)

Still haven't seen 3 or 4. To be honest, I jumped off the series after 2 because it was such a terrible, garish piece of shit. I've got them all now in a nice box set, but that's only because a friend (gay incidentally), harrassed me into watching Fast Five with the provisio: "This is a movie for you, trust me."

I will probably get around to watching the ones I haven't seen soon. I'm in a mood for something dumb.

(TOUGE, WILL YOU FUCKING HURRY UP AND FIND A COPY OF TORQUE PLEASE.)

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#9 2013-06-03 14:55:49

Disco3
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Registered: 2011-08-08
Posts: 476
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Re: Fast 6 Review (spoilers)

Bro, Tokyo Drift is great. In order of my liking, I rank the F&F series as such: 1,4,5,3,2,6 - with everything except for six being classified as 'great'. It was the last of the 'true' F&F - cheesy street racing with a few nutsacks thrown in.


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#10 2013-06-03 17:35:14

deeepthroatgta6
Member
Registered: 2012-07-05
Posts: 445

Re: Fast 6 Review (spoilers)

Really? I wish this wasn't true. I like the series. 6 isn't good? Really? sad

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#11 2013-06-03 17:58:59

Disco3
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Registered: 2011-08-08
Posts: 476
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Re: Fast 6 Review (spoilers)

deepthroatgta6 wrote:

Really? I wish this wasn't true. I like the series. 6 isn't good? Really? sad

Disco wrote:

It Sucked balls.

I don't think I could've been more clear.


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#12 2013-06-04 01:50:17

2na
Member
Registered: 2003-02-18
Posts: 14

Re: Fast 6 Review (spoilers)

Only saw 1,2 and 3 Can't even remember what happened in 3 it was that forgettable, no point playing catch up now.


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#13 2013-06-04 02:01:46

deeepthroatgta6
Member
Registered: 2012-07-05
Posts: 445

Re: Fast 6 Review (spoilers)

FnF 3 was Tokyo Drift, tuna.

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#14 2013-06-05 20:44:13

Filip454
Member
Registered: 2012-07-30
Posts: 151

Re: Fast 6 Review (spoilers)

Whata iz \"fast 6\"?


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#15 2013-06-05 22:54:05

Maindrian
Second Place Gaymo
Registered: 2003-02-18
Posts: 3,064

Re: Fast 6 Review (spoilers)

I heard it's some kind of medication to stop bedwetting that has the unfortunate side effect of damaging mental faculties.

You should probably stop taking it.

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#16 2013-06-06 23:32:07

Filip454
Member
Registered: 2012-07-30
Posts: 151

Re: Fast 6 Review (spoilers)

No, but srsly, why noz full name?


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#17 2013-06-21 22:35:44

ameer
cunt smasher!
Registered: 2003-02-23
Posts: 3,172

Re: Fast 6 Review (spoilers)

The Fast & The Furious, 2 Fast 2 Furious, and The Fast & The Furious: Tokyo Drift are all amazing movies that have a special place in my heart.

Yes, they are quite bad. A special kind of bad; cheap, colorful, and lighthearted. B-movie excellence starring my favorite topic, automobilia.

Importantly, the first three movies were not only delightful, but they were about cars. Fucking cars! Bright, modified, ridiculous cars. But not just cars, I think even more importantly, car culture.

The first three movies very accurately reflected car culture at the time. It's very easy to look back and say that the 2001 movie created the ricer craze, but that's not true. While it certainly did cement it, import car culture was the hottest thing BEFORE the movie came out. Car culture created the movie, not the other way around.

2 Fast 2 Furious didn't focus as heavily on car culture, but it did reach out to other areas besides imports by slapping hideous chrome wheels on everything. The cars in the movie reflect the time well. People liked chrome rims back then. They don't anymore. I enjoy that reflection on the period. Also, the movie featured a Skyline quite predominantly. The Skyline had become a cult car in the US for its rarity before this movie was made; the creators saw that and put a Skyline in it.

The third one needs no explanation. Drifting had become fucking huge so of course they made a movie about it.

What do the fourth, fifth, and sixth movies say about car culture? Nothing.

The new movies are fucking terrible. All the heart is gone. They are just generic action movies. The latest one barely featured any fucking cars at all except for the Jensen Interceptor, which wasn't even shown off that well.

Bring back CAR CULTURE fucking please thank you!

P.S., nitro meth is for pussies.


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#18 2013-06-22 07:18:49

deeepthroatgta6
Member
Registered: 2012-07-05
Posts: 445

Re: Fast 6 Review (spoilers)

Haven't seen the 6th one but c'mon, 4 and 5th weren't that bad. We need a new racing movie series.

Anyone seen man of steel yet?

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#19 2013-06-22 13:19:24

Maindrian
Second Place Gaymo
Registered: 2003-02-18
Posts: 3,064

Re: Fast 6 Review (spoilers)

I was alright with it for a serious take on Superman until the last 45 minuites, then it just turned into an outright shitfest. You could accuse Avengers of being overlong with dumb, loud action, but at least it's bright and full of jokes.

The best Superman movie this year was Iron Man 3. I think it was actually the best movie this year, I can't stress how good it was.

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#20 2013-06-22 13:34:08

deeepthroatgta6
Member
Registered: 2012-07-05
Posts: 445

Re: Fast 6 Review (spoilers)

I got to see iron man 3 then.

And how about hang over III?
I haven't seen movies in a while. Except the stoner ones.

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#21 2013-06-22 15:31:15

Disco3
Member
Registered: 2011-08-08
Posts: 476
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Re: Fast 6 Review (spoilers)

I heard Hangover 3 sucked.

I hate Iron Man, almost as much as I hate RDJ (and I hate him a whole lot).


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#22 2013-06-22 19:05:30

Maindrian
Second Place Gaymo
Registered: 2003-02-18
Posts: 3,064

Re: Fast 6 Review (spoilers)

Disco wrote:

I hate RDJ (and I hate him a whole lot).

Then I'd recommend Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang. AGAIN. Not only because it's a good film, but you'll get to see him get beaten up and abused quite a bit.

Seriously though, Iron Man 3 was a perfect reaction to both the first two films and the big Avengers blowout (he's rarely in the suit, it's mostly rather low key until the climax, which, by that point it's earned earnt the right to go loud in a big way, even if it does remind me of the end of Herbie Rides Again...). It was, not to put too fine a point on it, a morally good film and clever with it. It reaches a level of fairly excellent satire of Hollywood movie convention and its ingrained racist, violent attitude at points, without being smug and WINK WINK, and forgetting to actually supply fun action and a lot of heart.

I remember Ameer having a fair point about the first movie being quite immoral and racist and I might have actually brushed it off with "Eh, it's just comics don't overthink it", but 3 actually pokes fun at that logic, like "No, overthink it, it's a rotten idea." I love a movie that dares to question it's own audience.

Man of Steel doesn't do any of that. The last 45 minuites are just disgusting. It makes the city smashing in Avengers look positively cheery and fun in comparison.

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#23 2013-06-22 20:11:15

ameer
cunt smasher!
Registered: 2003-02-23
Posts: 3,172

Re: Fast 6 Review (spoilers)

There are quite a few movies out right now I want to see. Those being Hangover III and Man of Steel. Maybe some others? I don't remember.

I might just download them. Now that HD cameras are so cheap, some cam-recording movie torrents are actually very watchable.

I remember back in like 2008 I tried to watch a torrent of Tropic Thunder while it was still in the theater, it was fucking awful. Bad quality camcorder, shaky, terrible sound. After that, I swore off cam movies forever. I'm pleasantly surprised that the quality of these bootlegs has improved.


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#24 2013-06-22 20:12:27

ameer
cunt smasher!
Registered: 2003-02-23
Posts: 3,172

Re: Fast 6 Review (spoilers)

Maindrian wrote:
Disco wrote:

I hate RDJ (and I hate him a whole lot).

Then I'd recommend Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang. AGAIN. Not only because it's a good film, but you'll get to see him get beaten up and abused quite a bit.

John, I downloaded this movie and never watched it, you want to watch it?


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#25 2013-06-22 20:13:41

deeepthroatgta6
Member
Registered: 2012-07-05
Posts: 445

Re: Fast 6 Review (spoilers)

Let me know if the torrents are nice.

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